When you learn about mindfulness meditation you learn a lot about yourself. You learn how you have wired yourself through the course of your life. Is it towards danger or is it towards trust? Here is how the story of “a snake or a stick” comes up.
Imagine you are walking down a path in nature. Suddenly you see something in the middle of the ground a bit ahead of you. What is your immediate reaction? Fear because you think you are seeing a snake, or trust because you know it is only a stick?
This story came to mind the other day as a friend was telling me about a possible difficult situation that potentially might include me as well. I could tell she was upset. In addition to the situation she was dealing with she started mentioning other situations in her life that were currently going bad for her too.
I was staying calm, even if this potential difficult situation could affect me too. I attribute my calmness to several years of mindfulness meditation! I had compassion for my friend and could understand her reaction. I have been there too, seeing everything as wrong when feeling worried and stressed. When my marriage fell apart my mind was like a constant tornado of black clouds for 3-4 years. Whenever I came across a difficulty or obstacle I was perceiving it as a “snake”, never ever a stick before I was 110% certain.
My friend´s reaction to a potential problem is not uncommon. On the contrary I think it is very normal. We predict something bad is going to happen instead of expecting the best. We panick and lose our clarity of mind. But panicking or stressing out regarding a possible difficult future outcome is exhausting for the mind, body and our life! We have to remember in that moment that we are not in immediate danger, even though our mind makes it seem that way and our body feels so. Taking in the news every day, for example, might leave us fearful for so many situations we will actually never encounter. We often build up fear internally for no reason at all. It is just too much and unnecessary.
For me, the solution for dissolving automatic fear reaction was to start a meditation practice. Over ten years later I´m still on it!
By the way, guess what happened with the situation my friend was worried she would have to deal with and that might involve me too? It turned out the problem was minimal. It was resolved before it even reached us. Everything turned out to be okay. Yes, it was only a stick.
Best wishes! Annette X
